The Bane Chronicles Review: Spoilers!

The Bane Chronicles by Cassandra Clare, Sarah Rees Brennan and Maureen Johnson

Rating: 5/5

What Really Happened In Peru

This short story was amazing. I loved hearing about Magnus’ adventures in Peru, and his funny one-liners never cease to crack me up. Truly though, based on this story, Magnus really should have given up the charango a lot sooner. In Ragnor’s words “I wouldn’t call that an instrument of music, an instrument of torture, perhaps.”

The Runaway Queen

This story definitely wasn’t one of my favourites in this novel, but it was still fairly enjoyable. I don’t really think that there was a lot in the story for me to now comment on, the only thing I really can say is that I enjoyed reading it.

Vampires, Scones, and Edmund Herondale

Definitely one of my favourites in this collection. Edmund was such a sweetheart, and the scene in which Magnus can hear his marks being stripped was so heartbreaking to read. I admire Edmund Herondale a great deal, to want to give up his whole purpose in life, to be with the woman that he loves.

I greatly dislike the Shadowhunters in this story. They do some good, care for each other, fight with the Downworlders against the demons, but they also stood by and let Edmund endure all that pain, pain he only experiences because he feel in love. With a mundane.

They also threw out the plates that the Downworlders had used, because they thought they were now ‘unclean’. I wanted to throw these Shadowhunters out of a very high building window. Very high.

The Midnight Heir

JAMES HERONDALE YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL CREATION!

Just had to get that out there. I love James Herondale. Firstly, I love his name. I love that even after the events of The Infernal Devices, Tessa and Will both love Jem so much that now their son bears his name.

I love James’ love for Grace. I love that he loves her, even when he should not. He loves with a love that cannot be helped or stopped. Not by anything. ❤

I must say, I found it hilarious when Magnus was recounting James’ events of his drunken evening.

“What happened?” Magnus asked musingly. “Well, let me see. He stole a bicycle and rode it, not using his hands at any point, through Trafalgar Square. He attempted to climb Nelson’s Column and fight with Nelson. Then I lost him for a brief period of time, and by the time I caught up with him, he had wandered into Hyde Park, waded into the Serpentine, spread his arms wide, and was shouting, ‘Ducks, embrace me as your king!’”

“He also made inappropriate amorous advances to a startled grandmotherly sort selling flowers, an Irish wolfhound, an innocent hat stand in a dwelling he broke into, and myself. I will add that I do not believe his admiration of my person, dazzling though I am, to be sincere. He told me I was a beautiful, sparkling lady.”

The Rise of the Hotel Dumort

Aldous Nix is insane. I honestly still can’t believe he wanted to go to the Void. The Void.

Dolly was kinda weird, but an interesting enough supporting character.

“My friend said you’re a hot potato. She wasn’t joking, huh?”

Not really anything overly exciting in this short story that made it stick out from the rest, but it was still amazing, and I would consider returning to it in the future when I need something to read.

Saving Raphael Santiago

SWEET HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, THE FEELS!!!!!!! Quite possibly my favourite short story in this collection. I love Raphael. I don’t just like Raphael, I love, love, LOVE Raphael. He is hilarious, he is adorable, he is just so fabulous and asdfghjkl, THE FEELS!

I loved how he kept pushing himself to do more all the time so that he could be with his family again. I love that even when the holy water made him too weak to walk, even when his cross burnt his skin, even when Dios’ name made him choke on his own blood, that he kept doing it. He kept trying to get better, because he wanted to be with his family again. To see them, and for them to love him as they always have done.

I also loved that while he did all this, he tried to learn as much about vampires as he could. He became aware of all of the rules, for example the Accords, he figured out who the head vampire of New York was, and he is jusT So BeAUtiFuL OKaY??!

I also loved the relationship that Raphael formed instantly with Ragnor.

““He dresses like a maniac, acts like a fool, and makes worse jokes than the man people throw rotten eggs at outside the Dew Drop every Saturday.”

Ragnor began to laugh.”

The Fall of the Hotel Dumort

I was really quite intrigued about what was making the vampires sick. I would never have guessed that it was something as simple as the drugs in the blood of the mundanes whose blood they were drinking.

I thought that it was really sad when Magnus asked Catarina to take away all of his memories of Camille in the twentieth century. Because even though she is a crazy ass bitch, they did, at least for a while, love each other. And I don’t think that they loved each other the same way, but their love was sweet, the way they cared about one another. I’m just sad that forgotten memories is all their love ever came too.

What To Buy The Shadowhunter Who Has Everything

(And Who You’re Not Officially Dating Anyway)

I truly believe that my favourite character in this story was the cecaelia demon. Ms. Connor, as she prefers to be called, was so annoying and I was kind of hoping that Elyaas would, I don’t know, drag her down into the depths of hell with him? One can always dream anyway.

Poor Magnus! Both Catarina and Ragnor hung up on him, and he had no idea what to do about Alec’s birthday! I mean, Elyaas was giving him advice, but I don’t know how reliable advice can be when it comes from a demonic slimeball who hasn’t been summoned since the eighties. Just sayin’.

Magnus’ gift ended up being really sweet anyway, even if Elyaas disagreed.

It was so cute when Alec showed up at Magnus’ place!! MALEC FEELS!

I loved the little flashback thing we got of Magnus and Alec at Taki’s. And Raphael. Raphael is amazing.

“Aren’t you twelve?” Raphael demanded. “I distinctly recall you being twelve.” By the angel, Raphael.

MALEC’S FIRST KISS WAS ALL I EVER NEEDED IN LIFE AND NOW I HAVE IT!!!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤

The Last Stand of the New York Institute

I hate Valentine even more now. If that’s possible. Knowing the kinds of things that he is capable of and actually reading about them are two very different things sometimes.

For example, it is one thing to know that he despises Downworlders, hunts them and murders them, but it is another thing to read about him torturing a young werewolf girl enough to make her go blind. I really want to read the scene, in detail, when Valentine and Luke go out and Luke gets attacked by werewolves, but at the same time, like the young werewolf child scene, I feel like it would be really difficult to read. Especially since Luke is a character that we all know and love.

I was so overjoyed when the Whitelaws all came to the aid of the Downworlders. Like Magnus, I thought his message was futile, and that they would leave them to deal with the Circle alone.

So, of course, I was very, very, VERY upset when every single one of the Whitelaws died in the battle. Finally, we come across some decent Shadowhunters, willing to help Downworlders even against other Shadowhunters, and they are slaughtered. Obviously all of the Whitelaws deaths were sad, but the worst by far was Adam’s. He was the only one who died knowing that the rest of his family was already dead.

I LOVED getting to see Clary as a two year-old. She’s so adorable!! I love that even as a child, we get to see some kind of bond already seeming to form between Tessa and Clary. I cannot believe that Clary pulled The Great Catsby’s tail. Never pull a cat’s tail. Hahaha. I loved that we got to see when Jocelyn first chooses the name Fray for her new mundane life.

The Course of True Love

(And First Dates)

Alec and Magnus’ first date was soooooo adorable!!!!!! I am such a hardcore Malec shipper.

I totally loved that song that was being played on the subway.

It was funny when Magnus got mugged, Alec attacked the mugger, and he was called a ninja.

“I’m not a ninja,” he muttered.

Their date was so very, very awkward. Honestly, Richard was being quite rude, throwing that wine in Magnus’ face.

Erik was such a jerk. The actions of one Shadowhunter do not define the actions of all. Though you do see where he’s coming from, I still hate him.

I loved how Alec’s face lighted up when he knew that there was an actual emergency. I am just loving Alec more and more as this book goes on.

AND BY THE ANGEL THE SCENE IN MAGNUS’ APARTMENT AT THE END OF THIS STORY!! Well actually, most of the scene is in Magnus’ apartment.

The Voicemail of Magnus Bane

Isabelle’s messages were by far my favourite. And Church’s.

Simon’s message was pretty good too, albeit made better by the fact that Isabelle clearly punched his arm during the call.

Clary was kind of babbling nonsense, but she was trying. Lol. As she has mentioned in The Mortal Instruments series, she does not have a way with words.

I can’t believe they roped Maia into calling Magnus too.

Raphael wasn’t a part of the whole ‘get Magnus to date Alec again’ thing, but his phone call was pretty good too.

“Several melodramatic teenagers of your acquaintance.”

No offence to Alec, but his messages were just a tiny bit pathetic, and he sounded so hopeless and lost and adorable.

Overall, this book is super fantabulous and I loved it. 🙂

Byeeeeee ❤

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